


Nerdery is more than wardrobe deep

by yourbuttervoicedbeau (kiwiana)



Series: Songs from the Jukebox [Prompt Fills] [27]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Homeowner problems, M/M, POV David Rose, Patrick/spreadsheets is the true OTP, Post-Canon, Prompt Fill, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:02:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25764874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwiana/pseuds/yourbuttervoicedbeau
Summary: A freak accident, that's what everyone says; even their insurance company doesn't try to lay blame at their feet. It wouldn't have been picked up in a building inspection before they bought the house unless they'd literally torn the wall out, the sort of hidden gradual damage that doesn't give a hint of its existence until the leak bursts through the wall.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Series: Songs from the Jukebox [Prompt Fills] [27]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1775569
Comments: 36
Kudos: 187





	Nerdery is more than wardrobe deep

**Author's Note:**

> For the anonymous Tumblr prompt [Dialogue prompts #21: “Sometimes, being a complete nerd comes in handy”](https://yourbuttervoicedbeau.tumblr.com/post/624203770331611136/50-dialogue-prompts). Thank you for the prompt!
> 
> Title is from Marian Call.

A freak accident, that's what everyone says; even their insurance company doesn't try to lay blame at their feet. It wouldn't have been picked up in a building inspection before they bought the house unless they'd literally torn the wall out, the sort of hidden gradual damage that doesn't give a hint of its existence until the leak bursts through the wall.

If it had happened in the ensuite instead of the main bathroom — which is, effectively, the guest bathroom — they probably would have noticed before they left for work. But it didn’t and they didn’t, which means that by the time they came home not only was the bathroom flooded, but the water was through the floor and into the room directly underneath.

Unfortunately, that room is the home office.

David couldn’t care less about the bathroom; they’d been intending to remodel it anyway, and this is a good excuse if perhaps poorly timed. The office, on the other hand... both his laptop and his tablet are unsalvageable, and he’s pretty sure the ridiculously expensive noise-cancelling headphones he splurged on just a couple of months ago are also beyond repair.

Patrick calls the insurance company to lodge a claim, his own laptop (thankfully left on the dining table that day and not in the office) open in front of him while David paces anxiously around the living room. He’s half-listening to Patrick and half- thinking about a new colour scheme for the bathroom when he realises Patrick has started to list the items that were damaged and he starts paying closer attention.

“Purchase date for the laptop,” Patrick mutters, and David frantically racks his brain. How long  has he had it? It was after the wedding, he’s pretty sure, but—

“November 16 2019,” Patrick is saying, and David blinks at him. Did he just make up a date? It’s not like Patrick to lie to an insurance adjuster, but how else would he know?

“I do have the serial number, actually.” And then Patrick is rattling a string of letters and numbers down the phone line, and David’s pretty sure he’s not making those up. He moves to stand behind Patrick and peers over his shoulder to find a spreadsheet of what looks like all their possessions, categorised and with a purchase date and purchase price and yes, serial numbers next to some of them.

Huh.

“So, you basically spreadsheeted our entire life,” David says ten minutes later when Patrick is finally off the phone, a claim number carefully handwritten on a post-it note. “I’m married to a complete nerd.”

Patrick grins up at him from where he’s still seated, head tipped back in an obvious request for a kiss that David is happy to fulfil. “It certainly makes the claims process easier,” he says with a grin. “Sometimes, being a complete nerd comes in handy.”

He looks so proud of himself that David can’t resist climbing into his lap, kissing him a little more soundly. “So did they say what the next steps are?”

“They’ll send a contractor around to look at the bathroom and send them a quote, and once they approve that we can start on the repairs.”

“Ah.” Patrick is still grinning and David really does hate to burst his bubble, but— “You do know what that means, don’t you.”

Patrick’s brow crinkles in confusion. “What what means?”

David kisses him again, hoping to take the sting out of his next words. “It’s just... how many contractors do you think there are in Schitt’s Creek, exactly?”

He sees the precise moment that realisation dawns on Patrick. “Ronnie?”

David nods solemnly. “Ronnie.”

Patrick sighs. “You’re going to have to be the one to deal with her.”

“Honey, that was  _ always _ a given. Besides, your moodboarding skills aren’t up to an entire bathroom renovation yet.”

Patrick laughs. “Okay, David.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Come and find me on [Tumblr](http://yourbuttervoicedbeau.tumblr.com/).


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